Why is it that when I google for ‘books on happiness’ and get 34,700,000 results!
If I google the word ‘happiness’, 78,000,000 results appear. Happiness is obviously a popular topic.
We all keep searching for happiness and obviously many of us haven’t found it yet!
Do you ever get that feeling that you ‘should’ be doing something else, perhaps ‘bigger’ and ‘better’, OR that you should BE somewhere else or be WITH someone else? Those are common feelings which keep you from wholeheartedly living your OWN life right NOW.
Do you want do ‘something significant’ or to ‘be somebody’ more important? How much of your life are you taking for granted as you wait for ‘someday soon’? Are you missing this moment NOW always waiting for something better in the future?
For example, when I lived in Philadelphia, I used to dream of living in Hawaii. When I actually moved to Hawaii and luxuriated in the sea and the sun for about a year, I found myself missing the seasonal changes of the east coast of the United States and found myself missing my extended family. When a few years later, I shifted to New Zealand, I was excited about the promise of a new life, a new career, and new adventure. Within a few months, however, when Auckland’s rainy and cold season arrived, I desperately missed my ‘home’ on Hawaii which I’d left.
When I had full-time employment, I used to dream of the freedom of being self-employed. Now that I’m self-employed, I sometimes yearn for the predictable salary and social belonging of full-time work. Where does it stop? When does the wanting something else other than what we have stop?
Are you still playing ‘the waiting’ game…continually waiting for that ‘bigger and better’ or that ‘someplace else’?
How would your life be different if you decided to stop playing that game right NOW and to fully appreciate where you are in this moment. How would experience change?
Marci Shimoff, inspirational speaker and author of the 2008 book, ‘Happy for No Reason’, says that for most people, happiness comes from having health, success in our careers, good relationships, financial security, and from using our talents to their fullest. Happiness, in most cases, comes from the pleasure we receive from having these healthy things that we want in our lives.
A more secure level of happiness, however, has little to do with these external things. Real happiness is a neurophysiological state of well-being that is not dependent on anything external. If conditions change, then for many of us, our happiness goes too. But what if you could be happy for no reason?
Marci creates the image of happiness as being the ‘string’ in a necklace. Imagine that the ‘beads’ in the necklace were our experiences, some positive and some more what we might think of as ‘negative.’ If our basic constitution, or the ‘string in the necklace’ is ‘happy’, then no matter what kind of beads or the number we have on our string, we’ll be happy.
Our inner experience, which is the string that runs through all of the beads of experience, is ultimately what is creating our happy life.
I’m reminded of a quote by American novelist, Nathaniel Hawthorne. He reminds us, “Happiness is as a butterfly, which when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
I came across another quote recently that contains this same theme: ‘The bud of a rose is just as beautiful as the full bloom’…in other words, ‘smell the roses along the way’…don’t keep Waiting to enjoy life when you judge it’s at its ‘full bloom’ stage.
What if you took the attitude that you are ALREADY the main actor in your very OWN academy-award winning film…the STAR of your life…the … the main character in your prize-winning novel….. What if PARADISE is not somewhere else (like Hawaii) but
ALWAYS exactly where you are at this moment? How different would your life be with that perspective?
How do you begin to embrace your life NOW as it is?
I offer you two simple strategies which you’ve probably heard before, but which you cannot hear often enough! Those two strategies are GRATITUDE and MEDITATION.
One specific routine I’ve established with my son for the past few years is to ask him to say out loud three things he is grateful for before he goes to sleep at night. It’s become a ritual which affirms that no matter what’s going on in his life, he can always find at least three things which he’s grateful for. When he has a ‘bad’ day, he can still manage to say, “I’m glad I have a roof over my head, I’m glad I have a bed, and I’m glad I’m going to sleep right now.”
I recommend you try this ‘three gratitude’ exercise each night or every and watch how your attitude starts changing about your life.
The second tool to remember that PARADISE is here NOW is meditation. By meditation, I'm not talking about some 'holier than thou' type of rigorous practice. I am talking about the simple act of sitting still and allowing yourself to open to your authentic which is greater than your everyday personality...I’m talking about your human 'being-ness'.
There are many styles of meditation, and I find the simplest is merely closing the eyes and observing the gentle rise and fall of your breath, known as Vipassana or Insight Meditation.
Focus your attention on your heart area and observe the gentle motion of expansion and release of your breath. It can be helpful to inwardly say to yourself ‘in’ and ‘out’ as you observe your breath. If you find yourself being distracted by some other pain or irritation or sensation, merely notice it and name it. For instance, if you notice your jaw feels tight, you might say, ‘clenching, holding, tightening” or whatever is presently rising.
What you will notice is that your dominant sensation will continually shift. Your attention can rest on the dominant sensation, and when that sensation fades shifts again, gently return your attention to your breath, ‘in and out’. You might, for instance, become aware of someone’s footsteps, so you inwardly say, ‘footsteps, footsteps.’
It's important to notice while meditating that the one doing all this observing, aht is YOU, does not change and shift. YOU are always the same...it's your sensations and thoughts that constantly shift, not YOU.
As you meditate, even for as few as five or ten minutes, a sense of peace, calm, and clarity begins to pervade your awareness, even in the midst of any stressful outer circumstances.
It is from this space of calm and quiet that your most inspired, intuitive self will voice itself. This is the self that will guide you to more authentic activities and relationships. This is the self which is happy right where it is and with whatever it is doing.
This is the self that knows that Paradise IS where you are now.
Lots of Love...
Sally
